12 Hilariously Unfortunate (and Downright Naughty) Drinks Names

It’s one of our greatest joys, finding products that have brilliantly funny unfortunate translations, from Fanny Tuna and Soup for Sluts to Golden Gaytime Ice Cream. As drinks is what we are all about however, here are some of our favourites; some intentional, some definitely not. Enjoy - and let us know if you find any more! 

Vergina Beer

You may have read our article about vagina beer, but it turns out that it existed already! This beer, which was first bottled in 1998 by the Macedonian Thrace Brewery apparently heralded the start of the craft beer trend in Greece. Spoiler: there are no actual ‘verginas’ in it. 

Chateau d’Arse

From a real producer in Fitou, southern France and rather a tasty wine, this red is a blend of Carignan, Grenache and Syrah. You can also find their other wine labels ‘Seigneurie d’Arse’.

The Jew’s Ear Juice

The producers of this Chinese drink explained that nationals refer to themselves as ‘the jews of China’ if they are ambitious and ‘think outside the box’. It’s a drink made with a fungus and they have now apparently decided to rebrand it to ‘Black Fungus Juice’. I think you’ll agree that this sounds way more tasty. Not.

Cunto Wine

Very much a real wine, this Italian tipple ‘Cunto’ made by Alois in Campania is a concentrated red wine made with the lesser known Parallegro grape. ‘Cunto’ means little story or fable in Italian. A little sadly, they’ve now given it a new name ‘Murella’ for the US market. 

4Skins wine

We suspect that this wine name might be deliberate but it really shows the humour of those winemakers from Nova Scotia who are experimenting with hybrids and lesser known grape varieties. Their 4skins wine is a blend of the four top grapes from Nova Scotia: Castel, Marechal Foch, Leon Millot, and Lucie Kuhlmann.

Gross Sauvignon Blanc

Producers Sultz in Austria really should have done a little more research for the name of this wine, which is actually a rather delicious Savvy B.

Fart by Hellena

The word ‘fart’ is Polish for ‘luck’! This lovely looking, fruit-based beverage is so lucky, they’ve covered the label in the word. The fact that it’s produced by a company called Hellena is doubly funny to us, natch. Thanks tastytart.com for the pic.

Urinal Hot Drink

This cranberry based drink that you can have hot or cold does what it says on the tin and helps with bladder problems. We’re not sure how popular it is outside of Poland, however!

Bitch Wine

Beautifully Australian in sentiment, this rich and brooding red wine made from Grenache in the Barossa Valley was so named because ‘life can be a bitch but it’s hard to get upset about it when the wine is so good’. Indeed. 

Ménage à Trois

What do you get when you take three single varietals and leave them alone together? The answer is a ‘luscious threesome’, apparently. This American wine brand is actually pretty decent and its original blend is Zinfandel, Cabernet Sauvignon and Merlot, though they now produce several other wines. 

You Fuck My Wine

With a name inspired by the song ‘You Fuck My Wine’ by Whodunit, this is quite a serious red wine. Hailing from the French region of Cahors, though it can only be called a vin de France, it's a natural red wine made from Jurançon Noir and a touch of Malbec by producer Mas del Périé, Fabien Jouves.

Penetration Cabernet

Now we’re just getting silly. Naked Winery in Oregon have a range of provocative wine labels from Booty Call Muscat to Foreplay Chardonnay and this ‘solidly satisfying’ Penetration Cabernet that’s not too tannic and heavy. Clever marketing. Well, we noticed it! 

Stone Arrogant Bastard Ale

A big shout out to Gary from the Netherlands for sending us this one! Bier & co also stock multiple other entertaining ranges so if you don’t feel like an Arrogant Bastard then you could try yourself a Flying Dog ‘Raging Bitch’ IPA or ‘Doggie Style’ Pale Ale and if you are searching for more excitement still then an ‘Owl F*ck the Caravan is on Fire!’ Wheat Ale will surely do the trick!

Found any more? Send them to us at sophie@thethreedrinkers.com

If you like this, check our our pieces on Vagina Beer, Sour Toe Cocktail and Would You Drink Dead People?

Father's Day Gift Ideas For Drinks Lovers

Words by Helena Nicklin

Every dad is different as is every son or daughter. What can you give him that showcases his personality or yours? Here is our pick of some delicious drinky gifts that will suit the wine lover dad, the beer explorer or spirits connoisseur. Bottoms up and Happy Father’s Day!

The Wine Lover

A selection of half bottles

If your dad is like mine, he will eye you suspiciously when presented with a 75cl bottle of wine as he’ll expect it’ll need to be shared! Show your dad his gift is just for him with a pair or selection of half bottles of wine. Louis Jadot makes some beautifully approachable Burgundian Chardonnay and Pinot Noirs (available in Tesco), or you can take your pick from a range by half bottle specialist, the Little Fine Wine Company. 

The English Fizz Fanatic

Roebuck Estates Blanc de Noirs, 2015

Roebuck is one of the newest English wine estates who stormed onto the scene with their inaugural, classic cuvée 2014. This new wine from the Estate located near Petworth in Sussex, is made exclusively from hand-picked Pinot Noir grapes from the 2015 vintage that were grown in their Roman Villa vineyard. With its smart, hand drawn black and gold label, it looks as good as it tastes with an alluring perfume of red berries and apple skin with beautifully balanced notes of orchard fruit and brioche. Exceptionally poised and elegant. Drinking now but will keep for several years. 

Find it for £45 from Roebuckestates.co.uk

Monthly Wine Delivery

Feel Good Grapes

How about a wine club where each bottle has been handpicked by the team for being not only delicious, but organic or biodynamic and sustainable too! Feel Good Grapes are keen to only work with producers who understand their impact on the earth and they are so dedicated to the cause that they also offset the carbon footprint from all their deliveries AND plant a tree for every bottle of wine sold. The buying team are expert tasters too, so you can feel extra good about the wines you're drinking.

From £20 a month to £200 at Feel Good Grapes

The Gin Genie

Fifty Pounds Gin

This super smart bottle houses a rather exceptional London Dry Gin. Triple filtered, it’s incredibly smooth with a range of complex flavours that jump out, as if wrapping the juniper in a delicious, scented scarf from sage to lemon peel, gentle spice and liquorice. The name alludes to the 1736 Gin Act in London, when if you wanted to produce and sell Gin, a 50 pound tax was levied. It’s not surprising many went underground! 

RRP £34.45 from Master of Malt

The Beer 

The Original Small Beer Company

The Small Beer Company have brought back the old tradition of Small Beer, which used to be drunk instead of water as it was safer, back in the London Streets of the 1700s. Brewed to a maximum of 2.8 percent as it always used to be, Small Beer is isotonic with trace elements left in rather than dehydrating so it’s actually rather good for you (can we say that?!) There are four styles to choose from: Lager, Session Pale, Steam and Dark Lager, but you can also try a handy four pack of 330ml bottles - and it makes the perfect gift.

Find the gift pack for £15 from the originalsmallbeer.com

The Spirits Aficionado

Glencairn Crystal Glassware

The ‘Glencairn’ has become to-go to glass not just for whisky, but most neat spirits nowadays. Endorsed by the Scotch Whisky Association, its unique shape was crafted to allow the fullest appreciation of the whisky from the nose to the palate.. The glass now comes in many styles, uncut or hand cut, a price that will suit all budgets. Enter the code DADSDRAM20 to receive a Father’s Day 20% discount too!

RRP from £6 a glass, go to Glencairn.co.uk

The Cognac Connoisseur

Cognac Frapin Millésime 1992 -26 years old 

With a limited release of just 3000 bottles, this stunning 1992 vintage is the latest addition to Frapin’s collection of rare vintage cognacs, where it has been gently ageing in the dry cellars on the Frapin estate. Bright in colour with an elegant, floral nose and palate of prune, apricot and liquorice, this is an elegant, complex cognac and an excellent ambassador of the Frapin house style.

Find it for from £145 to £160 from Master of Malt

The Rum Romantic

Drum & Black Spiced Rum

The new generation of dark rums on the scene are to die for and England is knocking it out of the park with some new brands! Dad will love this one from Drum & Black with its eye-catching bottle and brooding, sweet notes of coffee bean, vanilla, honey, dark chocolate and orange peel. Try it alone over ice or as a ‘Mule Noir’ with a sprig of mint and some ginger beer (The team recommend Fentimans).

Find it for £33.75 from Master of Malt. 

The Whisky Collector

Buffalo Trace Bourbon

Buffalo Trace is a much-loved, American distillery that has been making Bourbon whiskey the same way for more than 200 years. It has a deep, rich, amber colour with a complex aroma of vanilla, mint and molasses. Sweet but not cloying, with notes of brown sugar and spice, subtle oak, toffee and dark fruit, it’s a warming, easy-going whiskey with a long, smooth finish. There’s a competition too! You can enter your father to win a Buffalo Trace home bar! See their social platforms for details @BuffaloTraceUk.

Find the whiskey for £23.99 from Master of Malt.

Glenmorangie Quinta Ruban 14 Years Old

Glenmorangie is one of our all time favourite Scotch distillers and is renowned for pioneering the art of extra- maturation. For this single malt, the whisky is first aged in bourbon casks, then finished in ruby port pipes and barriques from Portugal. Quinta Ruban is a bold and velvety, 14-year-old Highland whisky, with unctuous flavours of orange and dark chocolate.

Find it for £49.95 from Master of Malt

John Crabbie & Co, single cask 1994 25-Year-Old Island Malt (247 bottles only)

SPLASH OUT! Appealing to top-end collectors particularly, this special, sherry-cask whisky is dark gold, with rich notes of fruitcake, orange peel, dark chocolate and smoky spice. It comes with its own elegant presentation box too. Distilled at the Tobermory Distillery, the Crabbie 1994 Island Single Malt has been matured for 25 years in an ex-sherry hogshead. Each bottle is non-chill filtered, naturally coloured and bottled at 46.2% ABV.

RRP £300. Please email john.kennedy@johncrabbie.com for enquiries.

For more drinks round ups, check out Best Bang for Buck Sipping Bourbon, The Best Wines to have Chilled and 7 Great French Rosé Wines for Summer.

Have you tried Jubel: the exciting, new style of beer?

What do you get when you cross craft beer with fruit? Add the fact that it’s gluten free, vegan and has a sociably low alcohol of 4% abv and the answer is Jubel beer - and you need to try it.

Beer with fruit?

Yes it works, even if you may initially think it won’t. The idea came from the founders discovering the tradition of adding peach syrup to beer in the French alps as something called a ‘demi-pêche’, which literally means ‘half peach’. After developing a taste for it and finding it ‘dangerously refreshing’, they realised that no one was brewing anything like this, so they set out to create their own version - and make it better.

Jubel take light and crisp, golden lager and cut it with fruit. Inspired by the ‘Alpine’ peach style, they started with that and then created two more versions, inspired by their travels: ‘Coastal’ Grapefruit and ‘Urban’ Elderflower. Jubel describes the range as “beer with the refreshment of a fruit cider and the sessionability of a crisp lager”. 

Unique in style, these fruit beers are incredibly easy drinking. Very soft and very fruity, they may not be for die hard beer lovers due to their fruit nature, but we found we reached for them when opening a bottle of wine was too much and we wanted something easier to grab and less hardcore than a gin and tonic or other highball. We also love the fact that it’s not just gluten free and vegan, but just 125 calories per bottle AND they offset the carbon for every beer produced. 

What’s in the name?

The name Jubel is derived from jubilation and the fact that a version of the word is often used in some languages to mean ‘cheers’ when drinking. 

Where can I buy them?

Jubel is available at Sainsbury’s in 330ml bottles for £1.95 (bargain!)
Find them also on Amazon by the case here.
Or order online from the Jubel website here. 

You will see it on draft in some venues too as soon as they open again! 

If you liked this, read our article on Small Beer and ‘What you should be drinking with curry’. 

What you Should be Drinking with Curry

Words by Helena Nicklin

If, like us, you’re feeling brave enough to try takeaways again, you may be in the mood for a proper Indian takeaway after all that home cooking. Here’s your need-to know guide to the best drinks to have with Britain's most popular curry dishes:

BEER

First thing’s first: spice is not a huge fan of wine, which is why beer (lager specifically), is a great ‘catch-all’ drink to quench a thirst. Why is this? Served cold, the bubbles freshen the palate instantly and importantly, the alcohol is not very high when compared to wine or spirits, so it doesn't fan the flames of the chilli. You don’t want one that’s too gassy though. Here are three that we love:

The Not-Too-Gassy BEER: Cobra Extra Smooth

Stomachs get full pretty quickly with a big takeaway curry and Cobra comes top of the charts when it comes to lager that’s not too gassy. It’s also smooth with enough flavour to complement the food without getting lost. Perfect for lovers of lager and ale alike as it’s somewhere between the two. You can get 12 x 330ml for £32.95 here.

The Gluten Free, Fruit Beer: Jubel Beer

Made in a ‘demi-peche’ style, these ‘dangerously refreshing’ beers are low in alcohol (4%), vegan and infused with natural fruit. They come in peach, elderflower and grapefruit and are good for those who don’t normally drink beer as they’re quite heavy on the sweet fruit. They’re ridiculously drinkable though, non-gassy and those fruity notes that will help balance some of that heat. They’re excellent value too. Stock up with a case of 12 x 330ml for £25 here and here.

The Alcohol Free Beer: Heineken Alcohol Free (0.0%)

More fruity and gently malty than the alcohol version, this lager is exceptionally easy drinking and actually tastes like beer rather than cardboard- something that many other brands cannot say about their de-alcoholised drinks! £29.95 for 24 x 330ml here and most supermarkets.

WINE

When it comes to wine and curry, you have to be a little careful as tannin and high alcohol can jar with the food horribly, exacerbating heat and clashing with the flavours, but there are some matches that work well. Ripe and off-dry styles of wine will help fan the flames of all sorts of curries and the lower in alcohol they are, the better. Here are some to try...

Best All-Rounder

You need: Fruity Rosé

For a reliable style of wine with curry, make it pink and uber juicy, so the sweetness in the fruit counterbalances any heat. It works for most styles of curry, especially Lamb Bhuna. You could find any French Rosé d’Anjou, which will always have a touch of residual sugar and tonnes of ripe, red fruit. If you are after something a bit different and more sophisticated however, try this little number from Lyme Bay winery in Devon. It’s packed full of ripe cherry and strawberry aromas and flavours, with a quintessentially English, redcurrant twist. Technically off-dry, though you won’t notice it because the high acidity will refresh your palate while the fruit sweetness balances the spice. 

Find it: Lyme Block English Rosé, £9.99 from ALDI. 

Best for: Aloo Gobi, Jalfrezi, Green Curries, Dhal

You need: Vinho Verde

Vinho Verde is a famous style of wine from northern Portugal that is traditionally light in alcohol and has a slight spritz. They can be dangerous in the summer for lunchtime drinking as you can find yourself cracking into a second bottle without a thought. This one by Varzea is just 9.5%, slightly off dry and with zingy, limey flavours and a crisp, green apple skin nose. A great one for green curries and anything with lots of vegetables.

Find it: Varzea Vinho Verde, £7.99 (£6.99 mix six price) from Majestic.

Best for: Korma, Butter Chicken and mild, creamy curries

You need: Chardonnay 

Find a Chardonnay that’s particularly fruity as opposed to a more Chablis-esque style. Chardonnay can be famously buttery and a small touch of oak here could work wonders with the umami notes from the curry. New Zealand or Chile are good places to go for this sort of style and we love this one by The King’s Legacy as it has a rich creaminess thanks to lees ageing, a touch of savoury oak and a gorgeous dollop of fruit.

Find it: The King’s Legacy Chardonnay, £15.99 (£11.99 mix 6 price) from Majestic.

Best for: Madras, Tikka Masala and tomato-rich curries

You need: Soft, tangy, juicy reds

A few grapes could do this job, Merlot, Shiraz/Syrah and Carmenère being right up there as long as they are not oaked too much or too high in alcohol. I am a particular fan of the Sangiovese grape with tomato-based curries. Tomatoes are a tricky wine match but the Italians have overcome this with pizzas and ragus thanks to this native Italian grape. High acidity, low tannin and a rustic earthiness make this a great match here. I’d avoid Chianti (Sangiovese is the Chianti grape) and go for a straight up, youthful wine like this little Sangiovese blend, ‘Il Caretto’ from Puglia. Bright fruit, refreshing, light on its feet and tangy. 

Find it: Il Caretto, IGT Rosso di Puglia, £8.25 from Corney and Barrow

SPIRITS

Spirits alone would be a no-no with curry until you want to set your mouth on fire, but diluted with a mixer and a handful of ice  - it’s a whole other story. Try these combinations.

Best for: Rogan Josh or Biriyani

You need: Cognac + Ginger Ale

A classic VS or VSOP cognac with a 150ml of ginger ale and ice is just perfect with a medium to hot, meaty curry like a Rogan Josh or a rice dish with mince meat and spice, like a Biryani. Avoid ginger beer as it will be too sweet, so ale is the way forward. The rich citrus tones from the cognac marry perfectly with ginger and complement the warm spices of the dish.

Find this: Frapin VS Cognac, £40 from here.

Drink it with this: Schweppes Ginger Ale. 12 x 150ml for £4.09 from Waitrose.

Best for: Vindaloo

You need: Vodka & Lemonade

This famously hot curry won’t leave much room for flavour in drinks, so go clear for the spirits and clear for the mixer, preferably a sweet one. With lots of ice! Vodka and lemonade is your answer, with a twist of real lemon to add to the acidity and freshness. We love Grey Goose original for its creamy, smooth texture with classic, Schweppes lemonade.

Find this: Grey Goose Original Vodka, £32.99 from here.

Drink it with this: Schweppes lemonade, 12 x 150ml, £10.99 from here. 

The Beer Made From Yorkshire Puddings and Roast Potatoes

Mmmm… Yorkhire puddings, quite possible the best part of a Sunday roast in my opinion.. well, that and the crispy roasties, anyway, I digress. Basically, Northern Monk brewery up in Yorkshire (Leeds to be exact) came up with the idea of producing two brand new beers with some of our most nostalgic foods in mind.

The first, a brown ale named Sunday roast (5.7%) contains both Yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes from Aunt Bessies, which are added into the mash tun. I’m not sure what they do to the flavour, but given my fondness for both of the above, I’d be willing to give it a try.

The second, for those with a sweeter tooth is aptly named ‘Roly Poly’ after your favourite childhood desert. This 5% jam and custard pale ale is influenced by a variety of Aunt Bessies frozen puddings including those with strawberry, apricot and plum.

After the crumpet beer produced by Warburtons earlier this year, it seems themed beers of this nature are becoming a more frequently observed thing.

Yours today for £3.50 a can or £6 for a two-course dinner two-pack.

Would you invest in Vagina Beer?

Would you invest in Vagina Beer?

It’s the first of its kind in the world, folks! And quite possibly the last, but we thought you needed to hear this story. It’s all about a company raising funds on Indiegogo to make beer using yeast swabbed from a beautiful woman’s vagina. Yes. Her vagina. Something tells me the #MeToo message never got to the producers in Poland.

Welcome to Yoni Beer. Yoni is sanskrit for vagina. Don’t confuse it with yogi (or beer with bear for that matter, that would be awkward). Anyway, this delightful idea is all about getting a bit closer to have a date with a ‘goddess’; the woman of your dreams. They say:

“Imagine the beer of which every sip is a randez-vous (sic) with this hot woman of your dreams… she hugs you and kiss you (sic) gently, looking straight into your eyes… How much would you give for that beer?”

Well, how much would you pay for a vagina yeast beer?

I’d offer -£47.50 a bottle, but that’s just me. The team are asking for £150,000 to create 6  batches of 16,600 cans of Yoni beer on the crowdfunding website. At the moment, they are up to £1,390, so a little way to go. Perhaps you’d like to help them?

Who’s Vagina am I tasting?

Did I really just write that? Sorry. You’ll want to know who’s lady parts were swabbed for this project though, I’m sure. At the moment, there are two classy models who very, most definitely, are not porn stars. 

Pauline is one of the models for Yoni beer. Photo by Yoni beer for Indiegogo

It’s all legit though. There’s a swab date on each and every bottle that tells you exactly when the ‘goddess’ had that cotton bud up her vagina. That’s provenance, that is. And how do they do it?

“Using hi-tech of microbiology, we isolate, examine and prepare lactic acid bacteria from vagina of an unique woman (sic). The bacteria, lactobacillus, transfers woman’s features (sic), allure, grace, glamour, and her instincts into beers and other products, turning them into a dance with lovely angel.”

Lucky you. 

Would you invest? Tweet us @the3drinkers!

Mindful Drinking: Premium no and low alcohol drinks you'll want to sip all evening

With Lent now in full swing after Dry-January and as we slowly head up to Sober October, times of abstention from alcohol are so much easier to bear now thanks to a new wave of truly delicious, premium, non-alcoholic drinks. Some of these no and low beverages are simply lower alcohol versions of what we would like to drink anyway; some plant themselves clearly as alternatives to alcohol and others, cleverly, describe the enemy simply as ‘bad soft drinks’. Whether you can’t drink or are just trying to be more mindful of your alcohol intake, here are some delicious drinks that feel like a treat to taste. 

BEER

Lucky Saint
Alcohol: 0.5% 

This is a bubbly beer that actually tastes like a fully fledged, flavoursome full-alcohol beer. In a slow and meticulous process, Lucky Saint delicately extracts the fermentable sugars from the mash as temperatures increase and leave it unfiltered  to keep all the flavour and complexity. The beer is then distilled in a vacuum, which avoids the burnt and oxidised flavours many other non alcoholic beers have. I tested it with a bunch of beer drinkers and we all thought it was the best ‘non alcoholic’ beer we’ve’ tried (0.5% is considered to be alcohol-free). Now available on draught too.

Find it on Amazon or luckysaint.co for £25 for 12 x 330ml

Small Beer Co.
Alcohol content: 1%-2.8% 

The Small Beer company have ingeniously revived the lost tradition of creating ‘small beer’ that was popular in the 1700’s, when drinking water was dangerous. These are very low alcohol beers brewed between 0.5 and 2.8%. All under 3%, these beers are isotonic, so they are actually good for you! Tonnes of flavour without the hangover. There are four to choose from: Lager, Dark lager, Steam, and Session Pale. See our longer article on them here. 

Find them on Ocado or theoriginalsmallbeer.com for £2.15 per bottle (350ml). £11.99 for 6.

WINE-LIKE

Woodstar
Alcohol content: 1% 

This unique tipple looks like a wine and definitely does the job of wine, but it’s made with açai berries, blackcurrant and blueberries infused with cocoa extract instead of grapes. The result is a moreish, grippy, wine-like red juice. The small amount of alcohol comes from the açai berries being steeped in macerated in alcohol for twelve weeks to help release colour and flavour.

Find it Fortnum & Mason and Sainsburys for £8.50 (75cl).

Aecorn Aromatic
Alcohol content: 0% 

The three Aecorn drinks could be described as aperitifs and are made with wine grapes (Pinot Noir and Chardonnay). They are more silky and full-bodied than wine and you can drink them neat, chilled or with a splash of sparkling water as a spritzer. The most wine-like (and my favourite) is the ‘aromatic’, which is warm, woody and smoky. They also have a ‘bitter’, which reminds me of Campari and a ‘dry’, which is more for Sauvignon Blanc or Gin lovers.

£19.99 from aecorndrinks.com

Everleaf

Everleaf is the result of two passions for founder, Paul Mathew: bartending and botany. A conservationist biologist by trade, Paul wanted to create an aperitif that was plant-based and uplifting with warmth and aromatics. In Everleaf, you’ll find notes of vanilla, gentian, vetiver and orange blossom. There’s even the essence of voodoo lily in there. I’ve no idea what voodoo lily is, but I like the sound of it. Serve with Mediterranean tonic or use in cocktails like non-alcoholic negronis.

Find it on everleafdrinks.com and Sainsburys for £18 

SPIRIT

Hayman’s Small Gin

A great concept, this is a gin with a regular amount of alcohol in it BUT the botanical flavours are so concentrated, you only need - literally - one thimble full for your G&T to taste pucker. They even provide the thimble hanging around the bottle neck. It’s not the strongest, most powerfully flavoured gin, but it definitely does the job. What this means is that you can mix a normal gin and tonic but only consume  0.2 units of alcohol and 15 calories. A great, lower alcohol -and calorie- option.

Find it at Waitrose for  £25 (20cl)

SPIRIT-LIKE

Caleño

A happy, tropical, non-alcoholic spirit, which is actually rather tasty by itself over ice, Caleño makes a stonking, more fruity version of something like a Gin and Tonic. Created by Ellie Webb and inspired by her Colombian heritage, this is an infusion of juniper and inca berry with spice and citrus. There are some fantastic mocktail recipes on the site too. 

Find it at calenodrinks.com for £18.88 (50cl) £24.99 (70cl)

Seedlip Garden

The original, premium, non-alcoholic spirit, Seedlip Garden is the go-to herbaceous choice when you don’t want a Gin and Tonic and soft drinks are too dull. Have over ice with a spritz of any tonic, garnish with mint or basil and you’re away. It’s super refreshing and has that all important bitterness to kill any cravings for alcohol.

Find it at Waitrose for £26.50 (70cl)

TOTALLY UNIQUE

Three Spirit 

There is no category to put these in, but I love them. Three styles of plant-based alternatives to alcohol with a different attitude, that, as they say ‘celebrates what you put into a drink, rather than what you take out.’ Using plants traditionally used in potions and ceremonies around the world, these are non-alcoholic drinks 'with benefits’ such as the addition of ashwagandha to relax in Nightcap or guayusa, guava leaf and green tea in Livener. It’s alchemy, it’s different and delicious. You’ll want to keep the bottles too. 

Memento

Somewhere between a non-alcoholic spirit and a flavoured water, Memento is super dry in taste, like pure water that’s been infused gently with rosemary, verbena and other botanical elements. Inspired by a publication from 1498 that tells of the benefits of blending botanical essences, Memento is very refreshing and pretty bitter. It fares better in cocktails than alone in my opinion, or even just with a spritz of lemonade. 

FInd it at mementodrink.com for 30€

By Helena Nicklin

Watch The Three Drinkers do Scotch Whisky now streaming on Amazon Prime.

Brewdog Beer Hotel

Now here is some news that pricked up our ears quite a bit - Brewdog has a hotel! In fact, it doesn’t just have this hotel, it’s actually got one in Columbus, Ohio and Aberdeen too! If you want to find this incredible hotel, it’s situated in Manchester and is aptly named the ‘DogHouse’.

The rooms feature a myriad of incredible pieces, including Brewdog branded bathrobes, funky neon lights, stylish furniture, comfy beds, bluetooth speakers and even a guitar! There’s also a separate section inside the shower to house ‘shower beer’, which you can have stocked with any Brewdog beer you like! You’ll soon wonder what you did without an in-shower beer fridge (that is until you go home and have to suction cans to the wall to have the same experience).

However, that isn’t even the best bit - no, we’ll get to that… First, we must ask a question. Have you ever walked into a hotel room and wanted a draft beer but didn’t want to go back down to the bar? Well if you’re in the DogHouse tonight you won’t even need to think of an answer because (yes) right there in your room is a DRAFT BEER TAP. Right there. Ready to pour. Twenty. Four. Seven. On second thoughts, that might be dangerous, especially with the great taste of Brewdog…

If you’re getting tired of pulling your own pints (or sticking your head under the tap), there’s also a large Brewdog bar and restaurant downstairs and another on the roof! With 30 taps of craft beer, you definitely won’t get bored. DogHouse is looking to be a pretty revolutionary hotel, but with only 19 rooms, you’ll have to be quick to book a room as we have a feeling they’ll be going fast!

We’re loving the idea of a beer-themed hotel (especially with those in room draft taps), so here’s hoping Brewdog opens even more!

Here’s where you can book a stay at the ‘Hoppiest Place on Earth’: Book Here